This morning as we pulled up to my building (since we work at the same place, Taylor drops me off right at my building each morning) I noticed them. The Gideons. They come to campus each year to pass out New Testaments. And every year I get one. One time I tried to say no thanks, but somehow still ended up with a new one in my possession.
So when I saw them this morning, I had an idea. Taylor could drop me off around the side of the building, so I didn’t have to walk past them. So he pulled the car around the building, I gathered my belongings and I got out. And the door was locked.
The way the parking lot is, it didn’t make sense for him to drive me back around to the front, so I just told him I’d walk around. I tried not to make eye contact, but today, I am the proud owner of a brand new copy of the New Testament plus Psalms and Proverbs. I just managed to get rid of the last few I had in my desk by leaving them out in the common area.
My secretary even saw the whole “drive around” happen and asked me about it when she came into the office. Her: “Did you try to get Taylor to drop you off around the side of the building so you could avoid the Bible guys?” Me: “Uh, yeah.”
Of course, I can’t be surprised at the repercussions for my jerky thoughts and trying to avoid getting another New Testament.
I was painting my nails at the office this afternoon while I was eating lunch, and I got nail polish in my eye. I’ll let that soak in for a minute.
I got nail polish in my eye.
Yeah, the brush got caught on the edge of the bottle and flicked out right into my eye, all over my hands and on my face.
Fortunately for me and the purple blobs on my cheek, my secretary also has nail polish remover and cotton balls, so I could get the polish off my face and hands. My eye has mostly worked itself out, but still stings a little bit.
I think I’ve learned my lesson.
P.S. I’m not completely a jerk, but I am a sucker, and can’t muster up a “no thank you”. I have multiple copies of the New Testament at home (and several whole Bibles), and just don’t need more.
A tribute to my sucker-ness though. A few Christmases ago, my mom and sister got nail buffing kits because I couldn’t say no to one of those kiosk workers telling me what a good deal it was to get 3 and not just one. OOH look how shiny your nails are! Never mind the fact that just because I COULD file my nails while watching TV instead of going to the salon doesn’t mean I ACTUALLY will. And I rarely get my nails done at the salon anyway. Also, now knowing those buffer things cost like $1 really chaps my ass.
Andrea Unplugged 
I’ve tried telling them I have a bible. They still want to give you one. Do they really think I’m going to lie about having a bible?
That’s what happens to me too!
Just say no, Andrea!
I know I should. But for some reason it makes me feel like if I say no, they will think I am rejecting their message.
heh. it’s easier for those of us who ARE rejecting their message to say no, i guess. 🙂
Very true!
Ha! I would totally have avoided them, too! I always end up with new ones, even though we have about 15 Bibles at home. And we both have apps on our phones. And a Kindle. Heck, I don’t even take my Bible to church anymore; it’s easier to just open it on my phone to follow along. Am sacreligious, apparently! 🙂
I know. Its so accessible, that I’m not sure I should exactly be the target population. And maybe they think the college kids are their target population. But that’s not my decision to make. (PS there was an awesome religious guy that used to come to campus who would berate and put down anyone who walked by. I am a sinner because I was in a sorority!)
Oh man, those little Bibles are so cute I can barely resist them. But the type is so small I don’t ever read them. Anyway, despite the fact I do have several whole Bibles at home, I always take one (also, it’s easier than saying no).
I don’t think anyone has ever tried to give me one–that’s starting to seem miraculous!