Bargaining

As I shared before, I’m trying very hard to create a healthier lifestyle for myself.

I wish I could say it’s been easy, but that would be lying.

But, since January 13th, when I decided to make a change, I’ve worked out more days than I have not. I know eating meals can’t be a free for all. I know it’s better to eat at home and bring my lunch. I know that my favorite sandwich at Jason’s Deli (California Club) has more than 800 calories in it. I know that I could eat it if I wanted, but know that’s probably not the best choice. I know that a glass or two of wine is ok, but I feel better about drinking those glasses if I’ve worked out.

A one day at a time mindset has worked for me. I try to do my best. I track my exercise and food daily. And I give myself a free day per week, and try not to go too crazy. But if I do, I don’t beat myself up.

This weekend, Jacque came to visit and we had friends over for dinner on Friday night. I didn’t work out Friday or Saturday.

But today I knew what I had to do.

I planned on doing about 3 miles or 45 minutes of walking/jogging on the treadmill. A couple times recently, I’d actually jogged 2 miles without stopping, so I hoped to start with 2 miles. It was really tough getting going. But I challenged myself. As I was getting close to 1 mile, I bargained with myself that I could stop when I got to 1 mile. But when I got to 1 mile, I wasn’t far from the 15 minute mark (I still am taking my jogging VERY slow, so I don’t hurt myself, and since I’ve never jogged before.) So, then I bargained again with myself, just to make it to the 15 minute mark, then I could stop. Of course, when I got to the 15 minute mark, I noticed I wasn’t very far from hitting 1.5 miles, so again, I bargained, that I could stop at 1.5 miles. I pumped my fists in the mirror, and I told myself how effing awesome I was.

I would like to say I continued bargaining this way until I got to my original goal of 2 miles, but I didn’t. I am not dumb, so I stopped because the muscle by my shin bone started feeling more tight and sore than I’ve ever felt before. Then, I went home and did about 15 minutes of abs.

I am proud of myself. I am continuing to work out more consistently than I ever have (with the exception of when I took fitness classes in college). I am watching what I eat. And I know the consistent change will be better for me in the long run.

I have lost a couple pounds, though I don’t know exactly how many since I had to buy a new scale in the middle of all this…and of course the new scale immediately calculated my weight about 3 pounds lower than the other one.

My hubby says he notices that my body is changing. And that feels pretty good.

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