Archive for November, 2009

Blog Share

That’s right, it’s that time again… Blog Share!   As you may already know, Blog Share gives bloggers a chance to share something anonymously on someone else’s blog (genious idea!) Thanks a million to the lovely -R- at And You Know What Else for organizing the Blog Share! 

So without further delay, show some love to today’s anonymous Blog Share blogger. (And be sure to check out the other Blog Share posts which I’ve linked at the end of the post.)


You know what irritates me? A lot of things, actually, but this particular thing seems to be standing on my last damn nerve lately.


I’m not talking about the helplessness of the very young, the very old or the infirm. The helpless state is normal for those individuals and is completely beyond their control. Such individuals should be protected and done for – it’s part of our obligation to other human beings, and the deepest pits of hell are reserved for those who abandon those who cannot do for themselves.

What I’m talking about is individuals who could do for themselves, but won’t.

On a personal basis, such behavior can lead to family and friends feeling like they’re being taken advantage of. While this can certainly cause stress in your interpersonal relationships, I think it’s easier to address such concerns on a personal level than it is on a professional one. If I constantly feel taken advantage of by a friend, it’s a pretty safe bet that they won’t be my friend much longer. If a family member treats me like their servant, I have ways of dealing with that, too.

Professional issues are harder for me. I have to earn a living, and telling others to get bent is not the best way to guarantee future employment.

In my professional life, I am a member of several teams. One team consists of individuals who all have the same skill set as me, and we report to a single manager. But I also belong to functional teams where each member has a different skill set, and we all work together to meet the needs of our customers. In theory, this arrangement is supposed to result in each team member performing tasks that are unique to their skills. What really happens, however, is those members of the team who won’t learn new skills end up pawning off their tasks on members of the team who are not afraid to learn something new. And here’s the part that kills me – when everyone else gets tired of doing their work for them, and tells them so, the pawners actually get offended. Like the other team members have some sort of moral obligation to continue to do their work because the slacker doesn’t want to learn how fend for themselves.

What I want to know is, how do you get there, mentally? How do you convince yourself that “delegating” all of your tasks to other team members translates into you adding value to the process? How do you get to a place where you feel your own learned helplessness somehow obligates others? How do you intentionally put yourself in a position where you cannot succeed on a professional basis without constantly being propped up by others? How can you honestly think that you are competent and successful when you cannot perform even the simplest task associated with your job without help? Such unequivocal dependence would make me insane.

I’m certainly not the perfect employee. Hell, my list of professional faults is as long as my arm, in spite of my best efforts to try and address them. But when someone asks me to perform a task that is within the scope of my job and I don’t know how to do it, I don’t ask someone to do the work for me. I find someone who will teach me how, so that I can be self-sufficient the next time it comes up. Is that such a hard concept?

Not the Daddy
O is for Olson
Red Red Whine
Rediscovering Me
Reflections in the Snow-covered Hills
The Reluctant Grownup
Sauntering Soul
Serendipity Now
So, This Is a Treadmill
Thinking Some More
Time for Change
Together They Come
Wondering and Pondering
And You Know What Else
Andrea Unplugged
Bright Yellow World
Did I Say That Outloud?
Dispatches from the Failed Mommy Club
Full of Snark
Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men
Just Below 63
The Little Goat


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