Hey Y’all! Once again, I’m sharing my space here on the internet with an anonymous poster. Share some love with our guest!
My life feels very old and stale lately. I find I’ve been craving some sort of drastic change – moving across town, moving across the country, getting a new pet, buying a house, quitting my job and trying a different field, picking up a crazy new hobby (sky-diving, anyone?), volunteering, taking a trip to an exotic place. Currently, my life feels very staid – the same job each day, the same food for dinner, the same hobbies, the same weekend routine. It’s become so normal that even the occasional mini-break, like dinner out or a pedicure, can’t seem to uplift me anymore.
I’m finding that even time with friends is boring. We all do the same stuff together that we’ve been doing for years, no one new has joined the group, no one’s relationship status has changed, and still no one is willing to spend more than $15 for a meal or activity. The same suggestions are thrown around each time we meet, and it can be impossible to suggest new things sometimes because of our disparate interests and incomes. I used to find comfort and fun in the sameness, but now it’s getting old.
But at the same time that I write this post, I find it very hard to pinpoint what will make me feel less bored. I find a lot of doubt where I think I should be finding interest. Would sky-diving or learning Chinese really enrich my life? Would a trip to the South Pacific really leave me feeling lasting invigoration? Would I find a move to be fun, exciting and fresh – or just stressful and a hassle? Or am I just stalling because I’m afraid to pick something and set out on the adventure?
My husband, family and friends are of little help in this endeavor. I’ve asked them all for ideas of new things, and I’ve been met with nothing more than shrugs and “It’s up to you” like menial comments. And while I understand their reluctance to attempt to provide me with more meaning in my life (what happens if they fail/are wrong?), I’m also wondering why it is that the people who you would think should know me best can’t make a single helpful suggestion. My husband is the worst one of all, which is awful because he’s the most important. Any major change would have to involve him as well, and he’s just less easily bored than I am – making it hard to get him to solidly agree to any path that we could do together.
I am a person who loves to mull things over. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, making small actions. I’ve picked up a couple of hobbies. I’ve started planning trips, organizing money, thinking about further things to do. Everything is slowly bubbling to the top. I just also sort of wish I had more support. A friend to do things with, or the ability to get my husband more involved. But I’m hopeful. We’ll see what happens.